then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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