all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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