I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
