Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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