I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
