Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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