So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
