All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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