I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize