Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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