The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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