theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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