I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
