Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
