i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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