This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My feet surprised me
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