Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
