Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Randomize
