I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
