DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
