My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
