Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
