just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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