Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
