You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
smell my finger.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
