You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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