so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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