Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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