I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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