Please, let me fuck your mom
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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