I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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