i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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