Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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