hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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