do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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