they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
