Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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