My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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