There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dear god my vagina.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
