where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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