Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
