There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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