im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
