thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
