It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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