if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
