Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
