i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
