We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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