Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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