Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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