You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
