we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
