i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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